The First Encounter

You try to be ready. You try to not be nieve. You try and brace yourself but it doesn't work. Walking out the front door for the first time in the heart of Los Angeles I was completely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the things I saw, overwhelmed by the things I smelled and overwhelmed by the condition of the street. In the first ten minutes I saw four broken T.V.s, two broken couches a dead kitten and random trash strewn everywhere. I don't know what I found more discouraging the depressed state of living or my own reaction to it.
Now at the close of my third week in the city of Angeles I don't see the trash anymore and the smell of oil, garbage and urine is not quite as strong. I stand out on the street and constantly catch people watching me as I cross their path. I am one of five white people (that I know of) living in the neighborhood and it is strange to know I am a minority. In someways I welcome the change because people do notice me and can't figure out quite what I am doing here. Seeing me here I know I defy the sterotypes for my race. Now classes, homework and internships have begun and who knows where this road will lead. My hope is that in the coming weeks I will not become enamored with trouble and despair but learn to hear the drumbeats, the thump of God's heart in this place.